Life's Obstacles and Floods

Recently life has offered me a few challenges that have challenged me emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually and intellectually.  I often shake my head and wonder why so many things seem to happen at one time. 

In the midst of these challenges I had two dreams within days of each other.    These dreams buoyed me spiritually and helped me to see a more eternal perspective of my challenges.  I wish to share them in hope that it helps others to take different view of their challenges.  (by the way, these dreams were before the floods in Arizona J  )

 

First dream:  I was walking down a dirt path near a normally dry river.  I knew my family was all waiting together at a park at the end of the path.   Walking was laborious as there was a chain attached to me that I was pulling along and I couldn’t see where it ended.   I wanted to take control of this chain and I saw a small trickle of water down in the river bottom.  I thought if I just went down to the bottom of the river I could use the water to help lighten the load so I could pick it up easier and take control.   Well, as anyone in the desert knows, if there is a trickle there may be a flood.  Sure enough, as soon as I got to the bottom of the river the flash flood came and washed me away into the churning whirlpool of water.   I knew two things immediately: 1. If I stayed strong and kept my body upright and head above water I could survive. 2.  This was an opportunity to truly gain power over my chain because the amount of water made the chain weight easier to bear. 

So I straightened myself up and stayed above water while simultaneously wrapping up the chain.   Soon the water began receding and I had gained control of the chain now wrapped neatly together.  As I extracted myself from the water I noticed there was a fence and locked gate back to the path.  However, the chains had shrunk into a key that unlocked the gate that would take me to where my family was waiting.  I unlocked the gate and walked through.

 

Second dream:  I was driving along a long dirt path to join my family at a recreational area.   I could see storm clouds ahead of me.   The road I was to turn on was also dirt, but it had many dips and rough areas.   My family was waiting at the end of this road.   As I drove closer it began to sprinkle.  I knew that my little car would have trouble making it through the dips if they became flooded and muddy.  The rain began to get heavier as I reached the road.   I had to decide; was I strong enough to confront the obstacles to reach my family.

 

These dreams sent me a contemplative mood.  There were so many ways to look at the meaning of these dreams while at the same time making me a little worried about what other floods would enter into my life.  As I pondered on these things peace came over me.  I knew that I would meet and overcome these challenges and find the key to returning to be with my eternal family because of my understanding of the Plan of Salvation that has been offered to me by my Savior Jesus Christ.

 Adding to this knowledge is the study of the scriptures and gospel that I have been doing.   Along with the scriptures I have been reading Elder David A. Bednar’s books: Increase in Learning, Act in Doctrine and Power to become.

The three main points that have enriched, increased my understanding, guided my purpose and strengthened my faith and conversion are:

                *the definition of grace as strengthening and enabling power

                *the true understanding of endurance

                *what the character of Christ truly is and I can more fully become more like Him.

This is what Elder Bednar says about grace:

the word grace frequently is used in the scriptures to connote a strengthening or enabling power:

“The main idea of the word is divine means of help or strength, given through the bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ.

“… It is likewise through the grace of the Lord that individuals, through faith in the atonement of Jesus Christ and repentance of their sins, receive strength and assistance to do good works that they otherwise would not be able to maintain if left to their own means. This grace is an enabling power that allows men and women to lay hold on eternal life and exaltation after they have expended their own best efforts” (p. 697).

Thus, the enabling and strengthening aspect of the Atonement helps us to see and to do and to become good in ways that we could never recognize or accomplish with our limited mortal capacity. I testify and witness that the enabling power of the Savior’s Atonement is real.”

I know this to be true.  As I look back through the challenges I have had in my life and the challenges I am currently facing I have seen how grace has played an important part.  I remember one day I felt I could not go on with the pain I was dealing with.   I was curled up and racked with emotional pain.  I prayed for relief, comfort and peace.   I received that blessing and was able to make it through that day and I had to continue to call on my Father and was able to gain strength step by step, day by day.   The woman I became after facing that experience strengthened me and helped me become more of the woman that I want to be because of this strengthening and enabling power.   So my challenge to you is as you study the scriptures look for the word grace and insert strengthening and enabling power.  Also, think of how you have had the opportunity to receive grace in your life.

 

Next is endurance.  Elder Bednar states, “to endure valiantly denotes possessing or demonstrating consistent commitment, courage and determination in process of time.  We are to press forward and act as agents and not just sit passively as objects and wait to be acted upon.  We are to endure valiantly, and with faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.  To power to become includes abiding, disciplined, persistence in both the good and the bad of our mortal existence. “

Isn’t that an awesome quote!   I think of the times of my life that I struggled most, it is when I allowed myself to be passive and lost my disciplined persistence.   The happiest and most at peace I have been is when I was being more consistent in my commitment to Christ and his gospel and acted upon what I knew to be right and true. 

Finally, focusing on the character of Jesus Christ and implementing those characteristic more fully into my life.  The most important characteristic was his focus on serving others.   No matter what was happening to Christ he always looked outwards.   Elder Bednar writes, “Character is revealed, for example, in the power to discern the suffering of other people when we ourselves are suffering; in the ability to detect the hunger of others when we are hungry; and in the power to reach out and extend compassion for the spiritual agony of others when we are in the midst of our own spiritual distress.  Therefore, character is demonstrated by looking, turning and reaching outwards when the instinctive response of the “natural man’ in each of us is to turn inward and to be selfish and self-absorbed.  And the Savior of the world is the source, the standard, and the ultimate criterion of moral character and the perfect example of charity and consistency.”

 

These principles have helped me see my capacity, my potential, that no matter what I face I can overcome it through faith, obedience, endurance through the strengthening and enabling power of the Lord and to look outwards to find, help and encourage others along our way.  

 

I truly believe that if we implement these principles in our life we can be strong and not be sucked into the whirlpools of challenges and disappointments in our life and be able to take control of the chains holding us back that we may be able to reach our most important and valuable goals in life.

 

Love to you all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

First World Problems

This semester has been full of challenges for me, but the last two weeks have been trying for me in another way.  First, my fridge broke, and then a water pipe got a hole in it, leaving me without water for several days.  As soon as the pipe was fixed the stairs up to my front door began falling apart, first the rail fell off then one of the steps collapsed in. Finally (or so I thought) my computer, which is pretty essential to my job as a college teacher, became unusable.  I persevered and with the help of family everything was fixed, and I bought new parts and replaced repairable items.    I thought this would be enough challenges in my life, which was already filled up with other challenges more intellectually and emotionally bound. 

Well, you know what happens in life…there is no such thing as “the end.”  Last night my smartphone fell out of my pocket and shattered the glass on it, and when I got home I shut my trunk and the spoiler fell off.   However, something happened in-between the first set of disasters and this new disaster which changed my perspective and refocused me on what is really important and feel frustrated by these events. 

I was on a social networking site and saw this picture:

 on the bottom, the caption read, "First World Problems."  I read it and laughed and went, “hmmm,”  but didn’t delve much further than that.  Then the moment came when my phone smashed and my spoiler fell off my car that I said to myself, “first world problems!” and didn’t feel any annoyance or frustration.

Now using “first world problems” can be offensive to some, but to me it isn’t a slight on other countries or populations, but a remembrance to myself what true hardship is and what I have and should appreciate.  None of the things that have happened to me have any real impact on my life, my happiness, my success, my ability to help, my comfort, my health, my abilities.  Yes, it cost me money and time which can be scarce, but I was able to find both.  I have had many other difficult moments in my life which involved health problems, failed relationships, broken trust, painful experiences, hurtful words, financial difficulties, loss, death and more.  Yet, I have been able to continue on a path of success and meeting goals finding happiness and peace.  I have a comfortable home, transportation, family, love, hope, goals, intellect, talents, health, peace, and more.  I am not in constant fear of hostilities, poverty, destroying my family.  I do not have to flee for my safety.  I have plenty of food and leisure.  Even weeks I work 80 hours or more, I still have more time than many.  Even on weeks I am not able to buy groceries, I have more food than some villages. There are no plagues, bombs, blatant injustice, and humanitarian tragedies happening at my door.  I am so very blessed, so very rich.

 I am so very, very rich.  Not by comparison to the wealthy of first world standards, but by most of the world and though all generations of time I am.  With a smashed phone, a broken spoiler and a computer that doesn’t work, I am incredibly blessed.  Our perspectives of life and what we have and we think we should have is based on the community and environment in which we live and interact.  Most of the time, this environment is not conducive to reality.  We tend to live in our own “head” unable to channel others experiences and feelings.  We have to look outside and see what is really going on in the world and try to feel what others are feeling and experiencing to broaden our perspective, give us true understanding of our place in society and the world and help us become less greedy, childish, whiney, and woe-is-me ish, which is truly a first world problem.

I saw myself falling into this trap as I have spent too much time working and focused on work and what I need and want and not enough time focused on others.  I am grateful that my perspective about what my life truly is and can be has reopened.  I will continue to think “First World Problem.” when things seem to be falling apart to remind me that it isn’t important enough for frustration or other intolerant or negative feelings.  I want a perspective based on a truer reality not based on the shelter of my first world life.  I am truly happy to have my life and live in such an amazing time and such an amazing country.  I hope I will be able to get out of my head and my world and reach out to those with actual need and actual problems and help them on their way.  May we all strive to broaden our perpective so we can truly live a life full of joy!!

Lessons from a three year old and a twisty slide

picture from:http://madronoranch.blogspot.com

Some time ago I went to a park with my three year old niece. She attempted many of the play items on the playground. Her favorite piece of playground equipment was the twisty slide. She would slide down it over and over. Soon, however, that was not enough. She then wanted to imitate some of the older children, and climb up the slide. I watched her as she attempted to climb up several times, and slid back down to the bottom of the slide with each unsuccessful attempt. Finally, I saw that she was determined to reach this goal, I knew it was now time to offer my support. Without saying a word I stretched out my hand towards her. Being three, I knew it was likely she would reject the proffered hand and she would proclaim, "I do it myself."

 

She looked at the hand and said, “Sara help me.”  I stretched my hand even closer to her.  She reached out her little, sweet hand and grasped my hand.  With her other hand she clutched the edge of the slide and slowly but surely began making her way up the slide.  Several times she released my hand and put more trust in the side of the slide than my hand, and she did not adjust the position of her hand as we went up the slide, causing her to slide back to the bottom of the slide.  

 

With loving eyes, I watched as she refused to give up, she in fact, kept climbing up that twisty slide with determination.  Eventually, she learned to balance her grip on the slide and her grip of my hand and made significant progress up the slide.  

 

We came to another hurdle.  As she climbed up the slide we came to a point where, although I could hold her hand still, I could not see her and she could not see me.  There was no eye to eye contact.  She had to trust that I would remain there holding her hand, and I had to trust she would keep climbing up the slide.  She slid down once more, but, this time, with confidence she climbed up that slide, and although she couldn’t see me and I couldn’t see her we trusted in each other and knew we were each there.  She charged up that slide, reached the top and proclaimed, “I did it!”

 

This was an incredible learning moment for me.  For one, it brought about the complete understanding of the idea of scaffolding.  I could have just dragged her up that slide, and she could have been successful, but she wouldn’t have learned how to climb up the slide, or developed some of the capabilities and competencies in the experience of climbing.   

 

Most importantly, I recognized in a very minor way some of the ways our Savior operates in the teaching and guiding of his earthly children.  He also allows us time to test out our abilities and see what we can do.  When we reach our limit, he also reaches his hand out to us, with the option to take it or not.  He also will not drag us up the slide, just because He wants us to feel success. He knows it will be worthless in our progress and painful.  He also has to allow us to learn to adjust our grip, our balance and our perspective.  He also watches, and hopes we will climb again, that we will reach out our hand and grasp his capable and loving hand.  He also has to trust, that though we are unable to see him eye to eye, we will continue to grasp, and continue to climb.  He understands most completely, that we have to learn through scaffolding, we have to build competencies of faith, hope, resiliency, love, endurance, patience, and peace in order to meet the challenges of life ahead. 

 

How many times that I have said, “Help me Father!!!”  and he has reached out his hand towards me?  How many times have I ended up in awkward positions, let go when I have not completely trusted in that I could get through this challenge?  How many times has he been there as I readjusted, tried to learn from my weaknesses and mistakes?  How many times has He trusted that I would keep going when He seemed far away?  How many times have I said, “I did it!!”  Instead of, “Thank you!!”?

 

From the Book of Mormon, 1 Nephi 15:11 states, “Do ye not remember the things which the Lord hath said?  If ye will not harden your hearts, and ask me in faith, believing that ye shall receive, with diligence in keeping my commandments, surely the things shall be made known unto you.”

 

Elder David A. Bednar stated about inquiring of the Lord, which is the first step in taking the Lord’s outstretched hand, “it is spiritually demanding and rigorous process.  Sincere desire, diligent preparation and faithful confidence in and commitment to act upon expected instruction.”

 

I am so grateful for all that I have.  May I continue to understand His grace and mercy and great love.  May I be grateful of His understanding of what I need to grow and learn and become stronger, more capable and be able to live the most beautiful life possible.  May I continually say “Thank you” and act upon my faith.  

Perspective

Perspective

With a writing utensil in your hand with the point up, imagine a clock on the ceiling straight above you.  Trace around the clock clockwise.  After several rotations, continue circling the writing instrument while lowering it to eye level, then chest level, then abdomen level, keep the point straight up, while lowering.

What do you see?  Which way was your hand rotating when you got down to abdomen level?  Why do you see it that way?

Our ability to negotiate and manage life successfully and positively depends on our perspective.  Before we can help children to develop a healthy perspective, we need to analyze our own.

One of the ways I gauge where I am in my ability to have a healthy perspective is how easily offended or how much drama and/or judgment I make towards other people and my feelings about myself.

Right now my perspective is pretty healthy, one of the ways I can tell is it pretty difficult to hurt my feelings or offend me.  For example, recently a friend accidentally text me about me, my friend described the state of our friendship and how I had to be approached and what was not allowed.  My friend was fairly accurate in the description of where our relationship stood and why.  However, there were elements missing that would’ve, from my perspective, left the intended recipient unaware of the reasons our friendship had been rocky and needed certain parameters to work.

I then had to face a choice, the friend who had sent me the mistext was coming to my home within a half hour from the time I received the message.  How would I respond to the person when they came to my home?  At first I was a little saddened by some of the things that were said, and how it could misrepresent me and what had happened.  I analyzed the text further, and was glad that my friend understood that I refused to participate in the behavior that had caused the rift in our friendship in the first place, but they were willing to try and continue the friendship.  I decided that I would demonstrate how happy and good my life was because of my choices. When my friend arrived I welcomed my friend with open arms and a joyful demeanor, and I was sincere.

Because of my understanding of my friend’s personality and individuality, and realization that their perspective was vastly different from mine, I was able to realize and accept that they might see the situation in a different light, and however they expressed that, go team.  It couldn’t hurt me.

At a conference I went to this weekend, they mentioned that it was beginning to be noticed that one of the reasons some people end up in more drama and conflict is a tendency to misinterpret the situation.  This makes so much sense!!

One of my favorite pictures is a black lab that is holding a duck in his mouth.  At first glance, people are pretty appalled...then as you look closer you notice, the duck is alive, and the dog is holding it gently.  The story behind the picture is that the dog and duck were friends, and grew up together, and this is how they play.  But, when we look at the picture, we immediately jump to conclusions and might not look further for truth.

I have had times that I have misinterpreted situations and it skewed my perspective.  I have been working on this and am much more confident, and happy.  Now, when I find myself jumping to conclusions, basing things on prior experiences, then I remind myself that I might be misinterpreting others intentions, and projecting my perception upon their words, and body language that was causing all the problems, not the other person. 

Have you ever had someone get upset at you because they misinterpreted your meaning??? Huh??? Bet you have!!!  I know I have, so we have to realize we misinterpret situations. 

   

This brings us back to children.  Children need to learn directly about perspectives and appreciating others perspectives.  They can disagree or agree with those perspectives, but they need to understand that there are other valid perspectives.  There was a time in my life I could explain to any of my political friends, in either party, why their party was supporting the position that they were…and I could do it without judgment.  It has helped me to have better conversations, friendships, discussions and learning experiences for myself and my friends because of my and their willingness to listen and think through their perspective.

One of the very best ways is to do this with stories with children.  You read a story and discuss how the different characters might be thinking and feeling, and demonstrate the differences.  Have the children role play this at home, and point it out in situations.  Have them consider things from another’s position.  And for a bonus challenge…whenever you find yourself getting upset or offended at someone else, I double dog dare you to consider their perspective.  Share your findings with your children.  There is nothing more powerful than a parent teaching a child with real life situation and demonstrating how they are growing and learning. 

Help your children develop the social skills necessary to judge others actions and words correctly and to develop a greater capacity to listen to others perspectives, and think of people as individuals, instead of us versus them.   The most important way we can accomplish this our children, is to give them a lot of interaction and face time.  That is how we can develop all the best qualities with children. 

For more information and further development and understanding please see:

Mind in the making by Ellen Galinsky

Born for Love Bruce Perry

Reading Writing Respect Resolution

www.morningsidecenter.org.

Self-Worth and Social Perceptions

Tonight in the college class I teach, we were discussing assessing early childhood students and why it is important that we assess children's emotional and social ability.  I shared with them a discussion with another educator about a child that struggled to interact with other children in a manner that is socially acceptable to the other children.  We discussed that it was important to help this child develop appropriate interaction skills so that they can build relationships with others that help to foster feelings of self.  When children are not able to socialize appropriately it often leads to negative self feeling so that children actually struggle even more socially, which leads to problems in school and at home. Children's rules about social acceptance are rigid.  We also discussed how it was essential for us to teach children to be accepting of differences and more flexible in their rules and how to interact with children unique personalities.

This led us into the discussion that as a people we are bound to social acceptance as part of our identity and feelings of self.  I once saw a magazine cover that showed anorexic women on the front and asked the question about what we are doing in society that is leading to girls starving themselves to be accepted.  However, in the corner of the magazine there was a blurb about a story on the inside about Mariah Carey being fat.  At that time in my life I was struggling with feelings of self.  I had recently lost a great deal of weight, which I had carried since childhood, and had dated several guys who said they loved my qualities enough to marry me but wouldn't since I didn't meet their standards of attractiveness enough.  This was really a major blow to my self esteem. Seeing this magazine showed me the hypocrisy of society and social rules and how I needed to re-evaluate where to focus my esteem.  Luckily, I have esteem in other areas of my life and decided to put my focus there.  

As we discussed some of these ideas, we thought about the areas that our self worth suffers the most tend to be places where we feel we are not meeting the ideals of what is socially acceptable.  However, as adults we need to sort through those feelings and start throwing out what isn't real, or shouldn't matter.  For example, although my size and shape is not the socially acceptable norm for attractive, I needed to define my own parameters around what I think is acceptable. I have spent time obsessing over my weight and calories and have had trouble dating because I doubt that I can be attractive to men, worried and felt bad about myself.  However, I haven't thought like that for some time, and have been focusing on my parameters of socially acceptable and have been much more satisfied with my life and where I am right now in my life. I exercise every day.  I eat healthier than I ever have.  I monitor caloric intake.  I am happier than I have ever been, I am emotionally and mentally stable.  I am strong and able, I am able to make and build healthy relationships.  I am passionate about the work that I do and the children I am able help.  I have meaningful talents and can  have important conversations.  I am optimistic and find that living a fulfilling and meaningful life important.  These new parameters has brought me satisfaction and joy about who I am and what I can offer society.

This is my challenge to you.  Define your own parameters for socially acceptable in your life, and then live it, love it and share it.  We are not children playing on a playground of rigid social rules.  We are adults, we know what creates true happiness in life.  Take some chances, be daring.  Dare to be you, Dare to believe in who are and what you have to offer.  Stop wasting time on "socially acceptable"  and focus on how you can create a socially happy, stable life.  Do you take my dare?  Rock it!

Faith, Hope and Charity Presentation

by Sara Anderson on Friday, October 28, 2011 at 9:59pm

As you can see there are many representations of flowers around this room.  Draw your favorite flower.

Now write the words that describe why this flower is your favorite…it may be something about the flowers attribute or a way it makes you feel or both!

Please share with me some of these words or descriptions, as I write them on the board. 

In one of Wallace Stegners books he wrote, “botanists tell us that the blossom is an evolution of the leaf-but they cannot say just why that particular bud should take from the same air and sunshine a fairer substance, a deeper color, a more permanent existence and become something at which each passerby pauses, and goes on his way happier for the sight.”               

I love flowers; they do make me so happy.  Look at the list of attributes on this board.

How many attributes do you share with flowers?  I think it is probably many of them.

Think of women at your table, in this room, in your life who share many of these qualities.  These are some of the best qualities to have.  May I share with you how I believe we develop and then share these qualities with others?

I would like to now share with you the parable of the orange bells.

My orange bells are one of my favorite flowering bushes in my yard.  They are outside of my kitchen window where I seem to spend a lot of time looking out while cooking, washing dishes…cooking, washing dishes, and washing dishes….

I have even been seen sitting on the counter with my feet in the sink with my binoculars or camera watching the diversity of birds and insects that visit and also find joy in my orange bells.  I have watched, fed, and cared for this bush lovingly, knowing the joy it brings to me and others.  (and because it blocks my neighbors view into my kitchen window.

This winter the cold snap came, I knew I couldn’t cover the plant with a sheet.  It had become too large and independent.  I would have to let it fend for itself.  I had nourished it and tried to make sure it had what it needed to develop strong roots.  Night after night during that freeze I covered other plants that weren’t strong yet, and looked concernedly at my orange bells knowing that it would be it hard.

Slowly and surely the orange bell flowers fell off, the branches and leaves turned black.  My heart hurt every time I looked at it.  It looked dead and lost, but I am ever hopeful.  I continued to water it and tried to find ways to nourish it.  I took off the dead branches; my plant was cut low to the ground.  Weeks went by, and months.  I continued to water, with hope in my heart.  The ground began to warm, and from the bottom of the plant, branches and leaves began shooting up.  They shot up fast and strong.  More and more branches shot up and bright green leaves burst from the branches.  It was more weeks full of anticipation, but soon orange blooms opened and covered the bush. 

Joy filled my heart.  My plant fought against the adversity and pain of being frozen and cut down, but it responded by becoming stronger, taller and fuller.   I am now less concerned about it come winter because it has proved its resiliency and strengthen its ability to survive.    And now, once again it offers it blooms to bring nourishment to the birds and insects and happiness to be as I labor washing dishes. 

Listen to Stegners quote again, but with my changes and insertions.

“The scriptures teach us that the celestial woman is an evolution of the ‘natural woman’ they can say why that particular woman should take from the same air and sunshine a fairer substance, a deeper color, a more eternal existence and become something at which each passerby pauses and goes on his way happier for the sight, the help, the smile the existence of such a woman.”

I believe I know why some women are able to offer this richness of existence, this beauty of a celestial spirit….and by “some women”  I mean you.  Despite or because of trials and tribulations in your lives there exists 3 qualities that are the key to the richness of the bloom.

Moroni also explains to us what they are…in chapter 10 verse 20.

“Wherefore, there must be faith; and if there must be faith there must also be hope; and if there must be hope there must also be charity.”

Easy huh?  Let’s break down each of these three parts, and as it happens, there are also 3 parts necessary to the flower that can create a more substantial, richer bloom.

The first is the stem.  What is important about the stem?   Why is it essential to the flower?  The stem as we know moves the nutrients from the roots up and down the plant.  If you have no stem, you have no leaves, you have no bloom, and you have nothing.  

At your tables discuss which of the three components, hope, faith and charity do you see as the stem and why.  Now share with me what you think.

To me the stem represents faith.  Faith is the driving force behind all we do, our actions, our decisions, our responses our resiliency. 

On your paper, write down faith, and under it quickly write some of the words that come to your mind that represents faith…such, as to me, steadfastness comes to mind.  Take one minute.

What are some of the words?

Alma 5:15 asks:

“Do ye exercise faith in the redemption of him who created you?  Do you look forward with an eye of faith,,,,”

What is this eye of faith?  Elder Peterson said in the April 2009 conference that an eye of faith is “the ability to focus and be steadfast, continually holding fast to true principles, nothing wavering…this quality of faith is exceedingly powerful.”

Focus and steadfast….nothing wavering.   I know how difficult that is.  However, I know that that is a goal.

Those places of faith where you know you waver, just means you need to tighten up, work towards strengthening those areas through prayer, scriptures, studying and really pondering.  My journal is actually a place where I record my searching, thoughts and answers of what I need to tighten up on…If you never work for faith, you will never develop it.  I know it can be tough, but what other time do you have but now?

When I travel and am seeing new places, I am relatively unfocused and unsteadfast…I let my eyes and mind wander as I take in everything around me.  When I was 18, I traveled alone for the first time.  I had to take the train from Livorno, Italy to Milan.  I didn’t have the ticket for my next destination to Germany, a friend I was meeting in Milan had it.  She was traveling from a different part of Italy.  I didn’t know from where, I didn’t know when or what train of the 25 train pull ins of this massive train depot I was to meet her.  When I arrived, I will admit I was a little panicky.  I had already had a traumatic (but now entertaining) experience with the ticket taker guy on the other train, and then looking at the lines and lines of trains,  and hundreds of people coming off and on, and knowing I had no way of reaching my brother or friend, and rain coming down on me, I felt quite overwhelmed.  So I prayed in faith, knowing that I would be protected and all would be well.  I then found a place and put my heavy bag down and sat on it…for 3 hours.  For two hours I waited, watching people, and trains come and go.  But I felt calm.  Then my friend appeared, she got off the train that I was sitting directly in front of.  The only train out of 25 that I could clearly see the passengers.  My focused attention, steadfastness, and faith that the Lord would guide led me to the place I needed to be.  If I had moved, I wouldn’t have seen her, and would have missed my connection to Germany.

So many times I wonder why I can’t do this when I begin to wonder about some of the blessings promised me, that have not yet been fulfilled and which I crave.  However, if I let myself waver, and don’t immediately strengthen my faith I will not be in the place I need to be when the promised blessings arrive.  

Faith is the lifeblood of who we are and what we can achieve.  It helps us be in the right place at the right time.  It helps us do the things necessary for true happiness and fulfillment.

Although I am not in the place I thought I would be as a young woman, I am certain that I am in the right place at the right time, and if I stay steadfast, all promised blessings will be mine, and I will make all celestial connections.

Next, is hope.  I see hope as the leaves of the flower.  What do leaves do for the plant?

 It reaches out and pulls out the important nutrients that sun sends our way.  In other words, it reaches out to the brightness of the world and pulls in warmth.  That is how I envision hope. 

My favorite definition of hope is found in Ether 12:4

“Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God.”

On your paper, write down something you hope for.  Write down three things you need to do to make that happen.

So if we hope for a “better world”  what do we need to do?

A couple years ago I was going to the gym with a couple of girlfriends after work.  One day, as we were on the treadmill, they started talking about food and what they were going to eat, and what the had eaten.  I just laughed.  As a person who has lost a significant amount of weight, and continue to battle I know that to lose weight…hopping on a tread mill for a couple minutes is never going to reverse the effects of food. 

These wonderful women hoped to lose weight, but didn’t act upon all the principles needed to achieve that goal.

As I was once taught by an amazing friend, that if we hope for something, it means we are recognizing the absence of something, and then our active participation to activate hope and fill in what is missing.  If we hope for weightloss, we have to recognize the absence of  eating and exercising in a mindful manner and then have to make a plan to be more thoughtful of what we are doing that is creating extra weight, and how to train skills to lose weight.

If we are hopeful because of the Atonement, we recognize the absence of our faithfulness to the commandments and principles of the gospel and we then need to recognize our need to participate in the plan of salvation by recognizing our dependence upon our Savior and his sacrifice and ACT to fulfill this hope through faith and repentance leading to obedience to the principles of the gospel.

 We have to be proactive to activate hope.  You have to reach those leaves out, stretch out to feel the sun and the rain and receive the nutrients that you need to keep faith flowing and active.  Leaves also release oxygen which helps all others to grow. 

I love hope.  Recently a friend shared some research on relationships….Secure people provide support that is reassuring and uplifts the friend, whereas insecure people are self-serving, less considerate, less helpful, and consider the help and support they receive to be insufficient.

To me, that says that people who are secure have faith and hope for a better world, know that they need to lift and serve others, while those who are less secure, tend to look inward, and are so concerned about what is inside, that they don’t see how important their leaves or bloom are.

This leads me to the third part of our flower and our development of us into celestial woman.  It is the bloom.  To me, the bloom shows off the strength of the stem and leaf, and how well they are working together.  It is the purpose of their work.  It is charity.

Elder Maxwell states.  “Genuine, ultimate hope helps us to be more loving even while the love of many waxes cold.  We are to be more holy, even as the world ripens with iniquity, more courteous and patient in a coarsening and curt world, and to be of strong hearts even when the hearts of others fail them.

Hope can be contagious, especially if we are to be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh a reason of the hope that is in us…President Brigham Young said, “if we do not impart knowledge to others and do good, we will become contracted in our views and feelings.” 

My rose bush is an example of this.  During the summer, its overexposure to the elements and heat, makes for a paltry bloom.

If you want to bloom with celestial glory, if you truly want to live life with fullness, satisfactions and overcome trials and obstacles, then you must look at yourself honestly and without fear.  When I am counting calories, the only way to reach my goal is to write down everything even chocolate honestly.  When I try to pretend I didn’t eat those things and/or justify their impact on my diet, the one who suffers is me, and anyone who has to listen to my tearful breakdowns at any weight gain. 

I have to analyze my emotional and spiritural self as precisely.  How do we do that?  Sit down and honestly analyze the amount of time you spend thinking of yourself, your fears, your frustrations, your desires.  How much time does that occupy in a day, week, month, lifetime.  Then analyze the amount of time spent serving, praying and thinking of others.  Here are some graphs….which one might represent you more closely?  Which one do you want to pop up on the powerpoint during your celestial kingdom interview?

Your attitude, your conversations, are all apart of charity.  How you bless and lift the lives of others through your interactions is an essential part of  your bloom.

Are you blooming to your fullest extent, or like my rose bush allowing too much of the world create a half hearted bloom?  Look at your facebook posts, your topics of conversations, your emails…do they drip of “needy” “sad”  “sick” or “joyful”  “hopeful”  “bright light”

Do you create a self-fulfilling prophecy by sending those messages out, and then reacting negatively about yourself because people don’t want to be around you? 

What types of people do you enjoy being with?  Be that type of person.  Many times I am sick, lonely, grouchy, but present on facebook or conversations a more optimistic side…for one, that is what people expect from me, and two, that is what I expect from myself, and eventually I will realize that I am being grumpy and ill for no reason, and find the joy that is in there and I am boring myself.

What you present is critical to your happiness.  Project faith, hope and charity, and act upon those and you will find, joy and happiness, optimism and fulfillment.

One day recently, I woke up sad and lonely.  I couldn’t figure out what was wrong.  I cried on the phone to friend,….didn’t feel better….yelled at people on the freeway…didn’t feel better…walked around frowning…didn’t feel better…I was exhausted, I knew…I worked so much at my three jobs that week, that I hardly knew where I was.  Then it came to me.  Although I love my jobs and responsibilities, I hadn’t spent anytime with my family and especially my nieces and nephews.  I hadn’t been able to feel love because I hadn’t put myself in a position to give love to them.  Once I realized that I made it a priority to find those children, and spend time with them, and haven’t felt those feelings of loneliness and despair since.  What we give and present is what we receive back..  It is through faith and hope that we are able to give charity in the most selfless, loving, nurturing way we can and we will receive back more faith, more hope and charity.

Our blooms will be sweet, and bright, rich and full and give joy and hope to others, build up faith and nourish and protect.  Is there anything greater in life than that achievement?  Nothing, nothing, nothing. 

Just like my orange bells, we are nourished and lovingly watched over, but can’t always be protected.  However, if we have the courage and determination like this little plant, to live a life full of fulfillment, then we will let the nutrients of the soil and water coarse through our stems as faith, being steadfast and unwavering, standing strong in holy places…we will reach out our leaves of hope, pulling in the sun and rain, and oxygen,  giving and receiving hope….filling ourselves with the best things, and radiating the best of life with every breath.  Acting upon faith to stretch out those leaves.  And then we will bloom, Bloom with sweetness, color, cheer…filling others with joy through our actions, filling ourselves with joy through our action.  All of these things will work together to become the flower, and even when laid low…we will rise again…faster and stronger.

I would like to read one last scripture.

2 Nephi 31:20  Where fore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of god and of all men.

We must press forward…which is a concerted effort to progress

With steadfastness in Christ.  Which is demonstrated by our eyes fixated on Christ, his example and his gospel.

We must have perfect brightness of hope:  brightness, which is light, guidance and desire

And love of God and all men:  build up the kingdom of God and serve others.

Then it finishes: Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.

So, if with that concerted effort to progress taking in the scriptures and words of our prophets and endure to the end, which is proactively practicing, obedience, faith and works we will have eternal life.

Enduring and submitting are not passive responses at all, but instead are actually more like being braced sufficiently to report for advanced duties, while carrying-meekly and victoriously-bruises from the previous frays.

What are a few fingers of scorn now anyway when the faithful can eventually know what it is like to be “clasped in the arms of Jesus”? 

What are mocking words now, if later we hear those glorious words, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant”?

Meanwhile, Paul urges us to “plow in hope”

Therefore, desperately needed is longitudinal perspective, the hope of the gospel.  Today’s put-down is then placed in the perspective of our being lifted up tomorrow in God’s plan of happiness.

We know when we are doing all of these things well is when we fill the most joy, and things seem to run the smoothest in our life.  It always frustrates me that I am not doing all of that all the time.  But rejoice when I am doing it, and bask in the glow of the warmth that is there at that time.  It is in those moments that I know that eternal life is worth working for…It is in those moments that I know that I can get through anything life throws at me.  I know that if I can be unwavering, resilient, steadfast, and bloom, that the best of the feelings that come will be mine forever.  Now that is a precious gift, and I must seek it out now. 

A Story of Hope and Survival

“Man can live about forty days without food, about three days without water, about eight minutes without air, but only for one second without hope”

I wish I had taken a picture of my yard after the 16 degree night.  Desert plants (and desert girls) aren’t meant to withstand such a cold spell.  Many of my plants, I was sure, were not going to make it.  As we moved into spring, some, surprisingly, began to show signs of life, leaves, flowers and growth were shown.  Others, their branches looking dead and lifeless, brought sadness to my heart when I looked at them brown and freezer burnt. 

I had planted the majority of plants in my yard.  It was a bare lot when I moved in, except for two old trees and 2 saguaros.  Since then, my mom and I worked to xeriscape, using as many native, or desert adapted plants as we could.  It was my own little Garden of Eden in the desert.  Then, this winter, several nights of below freezing weather threatened my little paradise.  I did what I could in covering a few, but mostly, I had to let the other fend for their self.  They had to be able to be exposed to the elements; it didn’t make sense to wrap them all every night.  They had to be able to adapt to what came, the intent was for my landscaping to be beautiful, but low maintenance.  I must let the ones that were older, and more settled in withstand the cold.  But it broke my heart, when I thought they didn’t survive.  I still watered and cared for them, and continued to have hope that they would overcome and survive. 

Today as I was watering my plants, I was surprised to see that even though, it was late growth, there was new growth.  Not at the top where the leaves were, but at the bottom.  The tops were too far gone, so the plant started anew, with vigor and tenacity.  It doesn’t seem to care that it has been hurt, that it has been declared dead and ugly.   It pulled from its roots and has exploded.  I imagine it singing away as it is growing, whistling a happy tune, refusing to let anyone or anything trample its progression.  It doesn’t care about the past, it doesn’t care how low its been laid, it doesn’t care about what it used to be, it is heading up and out and taking over those old, frozen branches with new life, vigor and purpose.  'I will survive" it says, "I will be just as beautiful as before, or maybe even better, because now I know, I can take on the blistering heat, the freezing cold, and the inconsistent watering of Sara. "

I look forward with even more joy now, to look out my kitchen window, where these plants are, and watch the growth, and with anticipation wait for the first flowers, and see the birds coming back to this plant.  My heart will be even fuller as I look at it, because I know what it has survived, what it has overcome, and how it took on the world, despite the label and low expectations that were placed upon it.  It had will, it had hope, it believed.  May we all look at ourselves, and set our own expectation and approach life with tenacity and spirit. May we continue to nurture the growth and development of others. Life is short, live, love, hope and laugh with all your heart.  Know that God is watching over and loving and hoping for you.  He loves his us, even if we have to be exposed to the elements.  We get the opportunity, with his watering and love, to show what we can do, to demonstrate our hope and determination.

Love to you all.

Ether 12:4 "Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God." (from the Book of Mormon)